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News to make you smack your desk with your head

Because once you black out, maybe it will all be better…

Just in case you missed them, here are a few real gems headlines. Feel free to barf, snarkily contact any offenders involved, or preferably combine the two.

Mitt Romney is an A**hole to Gay Vet

Well, we all knew he was one, period, but Romney and Republicans in general SO love to use our service men and women as campaign platforms (I’m sure they’d literally stand on them, too, if we let them) that it’s even more despicable when they tell them that they don’t want them to have equal rights.

Half the Planet Could Be Dead Tomorrow

You read that right. Not only have scientists been paid to create this massive super virus to wipe us all out and been able to make it work on ferrets without them even having to touch each other—but the US government, of course, has silenced the scientists involved from going public. Oh, and by the way, the threat of terrorists getting their hands on said virus is supposed to be big. Lovely.The American Dream is Becoming a Nightmare

Think we’re all out of the woods in terms of this economic collapse? Think again. True Activist has come up with 22 statistics that prove the American Dream is dead that are so depressing that you may not be able to get up after reading this, let alone have a productive day. Go ahead and call in sick; it’s not like you’re going to be able to save up for that house with a white picket fence anyway. You might as well blow your savings on pizza and beer. Today.

Racism is Alive and Well in Apple Stores

At least it was in this one in Georgia, where Iranian-Americans were refused service. Since the two were speaking Farsi, an employee informed them that they couldn’t purchase any electronics—such as the iPad and the iPhone they were looking at—because their own corporate policy prohibits the sale of their products to Iranians. These were to U.S. citizens, mind you.

PA Forces Domestic Partners to Out Themselves

So much for wanting to move my family to Pittsburgh—Pennsylvania may not be as great as I’d thought, thanks to regulations that call for county employees to out themselves. Apparently life may not even get any better once you apply for a domestic partnership in the area to begin with, since no benefits could be found listed. Hopefully the ACLU nips this one in the bud.